#152

If a person says, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." they're probably not cool enough for Vegas to start with.

#140

"Sextuplets" is one of those words where the word is considerably hotter than it's definition.

#151

If they didn't want you to eat the bulk lemon pie filling straight out of the bucket at he store, there wouldn't be a giant spoon in it.

#51

You didn't literally wait a million hours for your coffee and your child doesn't literally light up a room. When they canceled your favourite show, you didn't think you were literally going to die. You should literally look up the definition of literally in the dictionary.

#420

Don't believe everything that you read.  A recent study conducted by insideline.com concluded that after 85 people were tested, marijuana has little or no effect on their ability to drive. ( http://www.insideline.com/car-news/study-pot-has-little-effect-on-driving-skills.html ) 

However, a more recent study conducted by an independent group (me) on one person (me) shows that yes it absolutely does.

#120

If fans of the Insane Clown Posse are called "Juggalos", maybe we should start calling fans of Jack Johnson "Huggalos".

#148

A good indication of your financial situation is the amount of time you spend contemplating whether or not you should throw away your tooth brush after dropping it in the toilet.